🖊️ Somewhere in Ann Arbor

To: (123) 456-7890 -- From: Asteri

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Song: [Somewhere in Ann Arbor - Anson Seabra]

Book: [Nevermoor: The Trials of Morrigan Crow by Jessica Townsend]

Keywords: [life, places]

I've been thinking a lot about suburbia lately. Looking around my single-family house in my lovely suburban neighborhood, and thinking. Because, as "Somewhere in Ann Arbor" says, "oh, [they've] got it all / [they've] got the life that they all said that [they] would want / and oh, [they've] got it good". I do have it good: I have a big beautiful house, 2 parents who—while not perfect—are more accepting than a lot of parents out there, tuition to one of the best private schools in the area, an amazing girlfriend, a loving brother... I have a lot, and I know my privilege. 

But I don't know... it all feels so... much in a way. I don't really know how to describe it. But when I imagine where I want to be, it's this beautiful little street bathed in sunlight. It's narrow and cobblesstones, the buildings are all 3+ stories and painted in bright colors, there are open doors and people walking everywhere... there's life. I live in a modest but beautiful house in town, that isn't bigger than it needs to be, and it's my own. I'm have access to people, but also my own paradise inside 4 walls. 

I guess suburbia doesn't have much charm to it? We've been learning about the American Dream in English class for A Raisin in the Sun, and I can see how my parents also followed that idea in their own ways. My mom came from a very similar family setup to mine: upper-middle class, suburbia, cushy life and a nice college and a nice family. My dad, though, came from a rough neighborhood and terrible parents and generally a shit childhood. So I am the product of that. I live in the suburbs, surrounded by near-identical houses in a 12x12 room. The furniture downstairs is expensive and stylish, clean colors like white, navy, gold, and gray. Everything is modern and respectable and a sign of how hard my parents have worked to have this life. 

But it's not where I want to be, and I think I've known that for a bit now. And I'm not going to run away to the city or something; I love my room and my house and the comforts it provides me. The trees I climb and my LED lights in my room and the really comfy couches. But I think one of the main reasons I love my school is because it's old. And when I say old, I mean built-in-the-1800s old. So our buildings are brick and plaster, 3 or 4 stories. Wood on the inside, decades-old stairs that creak and are way too plentiful (seriously, the amount of stairs in these buildings), small classrooms full of marks left behind by previous classes... There's over 130 years of history in my school, all ingrained and mussed up and there. And the people are eccentric and diverse and no two people are alike and that's the fun of it. Everything is different and new and something's always going on and I can be there for it or not be. I can sit in the beautiful iibrary and zone out to music, or run around on our lawn playing ultimate frisbee, or sit in Chinese class looking out at our main square, and there's life. Not the same old suburban life that's sharp edges and perfectly manicured lawns and gray walls, but an imperfect, messy, spontaneous kind of life. 

This dream is why I want to go to college in a town. Not a big city really (though Boston is lovely and historic)... it would have to be a specific city, not the steel-and-glass forest of New York City. Lovely place, not for me to spend 4 years. No, I want brick facades and early-morning tea in a cafe and boutiques and old bookshops. I want to go over to my neighbors for dinner and have street parties in the summer and take walks just to see my friends and the sights. Because when I find those places and do those things, I'm happier than anywhere else on Earth, happier than I ever have been in a place. West Chester, Boston, Oak Ridge, Los Angeles, my school... these places are more home to me than over a decade in the suburbs has ever been. It's where I'm meant to be.

--Asteri