🖊️ Holding Hands

To: (123) 456-7890 -- From: Asteri

ERROR: NUMBER NOT FOUND

Song: [We Found Love - Rhianna]

Book: [The Subtle Knife - Phillip Pullman]

Keywords: [love, partner]

I have recently been deconstructing the ties between love and one person, realizing over and over that love is its own separate being and that falling in and out of love means knitting and unknitting the ties it has to people over and over again. That Love is an entity that does not and will never belong to one person for anyone, that it attaches itself to different people at different points in our lives, and that to truly move on we must understand that those ties are there and that they can be reknit with someone new.

So. Holding hands.

Holding hands is knit to the first girl I ever loved, and how we held hands so tight in the twilight one night walking through a horse pasture. She was my protector, my safety, and I held her hand without giving her a choice as we walked through the grass, and I felt her certainty in our fingers. I always stood on the left when we held hands. We walked as one being towards the horses, unafraid and in love.

And then she went away.

Holding hands is knit to the first girl who loved me right, the one who showed me what love truly is. How we would walk through town together hand in hand, taking in the sights and each other. When we would be at dances and I would take her by the hand and lead her through the crowd and it was just us, linked by our grasp, amidst all the people. Her touch was warmth and softness and truth, complex and utterly beautiful.

And then I went away.

Holding hands is knit to the person I love now, or the promise of me holding their hand for now. The steady waiting of linking, of the certainty of togetherness and understanding and unity. How their touch is simultaneously my fireworks and my peace. How strong and loved I feel with their fingers wrapped up in mine, our lifebloods touching and mingling, that breath of safety.

--Asteri ⭐️